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Life in the Forces is a real test to your relationship. There is a lot of stress put on both of you and you will go through things that you wouldn’t normally need to go through together.  There is a lot of sacrificing (on all sides) almost to the point where you can start to resent the other person for taking so much from you and not being able to give back right away.


You have to have a strong bond and great communication to make it work. You have to be understanding and have patience. You also have to be strong and independent. You are now sharing them with his job and that doesn’t just mean 9-5, Monday to Friday.


You will also have to share them with their friends. Expect there to be a number of work events and socials that you won’t get invited to. Try not to resent these times, quite often they will have no choice whether they go or not. Make sure you organise your own nights out too. And then organise something just for you two on your own.


As you can imagine, the long periods of separation are extremely hard and you will all have to be strong to make it through. You have to be independent and be able to handle things on your own. Not everyone is fully prepared for this and not everyone can cope with it.


For most, there is a balance to be found. You do appreciate your time together and treasure the periods you have them home. And when they are away, you will communicate far more than some “normal” families. You will write, call, email and tell them all the more how important they are to you.


Enjoy the social and try and enjoy the benefits of moving and seeing something of the world. Enjoy what you can from this bizarre life you find yourself living in and most of all - enjoy it together.


If you are finding that Forces life is putting pressure on your relationship, then you are able to chat to your Welfare Officer and get some advice.


Other sources of information are: